2021 Year End

2021 the year of yoga, breathwork, mediation, reiki, dramatic diet changes, stress reduction, song creation, and healing.

2021 Missions Accomplished, Learned, and Manifestos

Breathe deeper.

Create room for relaxation.

Writers are vessels waiting to be filled then pouring out. I want to be a writer. Writer: people who become fascinated by a concept and investigate it deeply until they become a near expert and share what they’ve learned with others.

Believe things are so and they will become so: manifesting into your life.

Assume all women are interested in me sexually until proven otherwise.

Don’t cling to the past and preconceptions. Expectations set us up for dissatisfying experiences in the present. Set low expectations to achieve happiness.

No sex=creative output, because sex is it’s own creative output.

Trust myself. Trust those around me. Trust leads to happiness.

Multiple professional fields lead to happiness: it keeps things interesting.

Crap art is the same as crap in farming: fertilizer: the geography of bliss. Make crap so you can keep making and make better.

January 22nd, 2021 This is the day I released my first singing single.

I love making music videos!!!! To my own-ish music!!!!!!

I am fulfilled creatively.

Making yourself feel successful and proud may not bring you any views or recognition. “You can’t choose what you are famous for.” So make what you want to!

Squirrels are loud  (running on the roof).

Sand is omnipresent.

I went free diving and kayaking for the first time in the Keys!

We tend to romanticize and positively embellish rememberences of the past, therefore we long for what never really happened.

The word is lighter when you are enlightened.

June: I am becoming whole. Holistic. Eating for my health (AIP/Paleo). Breathing deeper, with more intention, and paying attention. My breath has healed me and created better patterns in my day to day. I’ve become strong, embodied, by practicing yoga. I only wish that I had become this alive earlier in my life. I wish I had known how to fully take care of myself, to heal, earlier. I now want to spread awareness to others so they may lead their best lives starting immediately.

June: I’ve been trying to quit modeling online for several years but was trying to replace it with ???  Maybe music or going back to being a safer for work creator but now I’ve found a new path: a yoga and breathwork practitioner. I have something I can fill the void with wherever I go and can serve me for many years while improving my health and expanding my knowledge. I like this new path. 🙂

By June I think I’ve fallen off nearly completely on my 30 days of something but I don’t think without it I would have been able to be where I am now. I’m doing more: singing, dancing, eating of nutritious foods, yoga, meditating, and breathing. Thank you 28 year old self for finally knowing, understanding, and getting on track. 🙂 I love you.

This is the year I’ve gotten well. But it wouldn’t have been possible without the work I put in last year. I’d never dieted before last year. And I don’t mean for weight loss, I mean just not eating everything in sight that was available because I liked the taste. I eat for my health now (mostly) and am so proud and find the results to be profound. I even feel like I’m creatively unstuck: I’ve discovered breathwork, yoga, song/audiobook creation, and singing. I’m finding a new way to put out through different channels and outlets the creative potential that’s within me. I couldn’t figure out where to sink my energies, but now I feel called to heal myself and help others on this whole body journey through food, physical movement, positive thinking, and breath.

June 2nd I went ziplining for the first time!

July 8th 2021 I taught my first yoga class [and taught so many more thought the year!]

IN reference to modeling: creativity from the other side of the camera

September is for Chakras and making meditation music and sounds and singing.

a moment of pure bliss: eating strawberries naked in the backyard sitting in the pool. ❤

Creating songs, nature tracks, and guided meditations has been my focus this year in terms of content creation plus music videos. I’ve still been doing the OF and Patreon thing, but my focus/time/energy is on other content creation!!

Found The Energy Codes exercises work for easing pain!!!!!!! Squeeze the root chakra (mula bandha) and where it hurts, 1,000 tiny straws. This was the true key to unlocking so many more good belly days for me.

Loved the 21 day mind hacking aka meditation challenge.

My day is better when I start it with meditation.

June: White/silver/gold little sparkles, mostly in nature but it feels like the energy of the world is trying to break through and speak to me. And my intuition began to emerge. I remember I used to have it when I was a child, a deeper connection and I’m ready to reconnect and listen to it. Intuition tells me which routes to take when I’m walking or driving, it helps me with food if I listen. October: I saw Erin’s aura and in November (reiki) Joe’s; I tend to see them when it is a low light situation.

I get obsessed with learning then am not into it so much eventually. 😛 It is a cycle: depression, finding something new and loving and being obsessed, feeling like there is too much to do, slowly dropping it, realizing I’ve dropped too much and don’t have any more projects, cycle.

I got to see a lantern release but from afar, I think I have done one before but would love to do more and more.

A magically red moon that turned orange greeted us as we sat on the porch and darkness walked in.

For the first time I feel like the “musical” creations I’m working on are what I should be creating and contributing to the world. Spreading the word about breathing, self love, and making healing tracks. Yes!

Words and music move through me. It is my job to birth them into fruition.

I need more instruments that let anyone feel like they can play even if they have no musical inclination: instruments that sound great when all the notes are played together or just strummed.

It is amazing how a specific meditation can help me sing on pitch: learning the throat chakra.

I’m lazy. Sometimes?!? Hopefully less soon. I almost want to do mushrooms to get me out of this laziness. But then I did kick in for the last three months of the year on high create mode.

There is such a thing as being too agreeable.

Making tiny goals, writing them down, checking them off, makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something. And you have!

Reikied the trees at my country home. Reiki into the wind.

Mission dancing accomplished with TikToking and Instagram Reels.

I’m working on and getting back in touch with my intuition.

Reiki, releasing trapped emotions, learning The Energy Codes, breathwork, meditation.

I really loved working on the set of Nudism.TV. I want more days to be like this…what if…I hired a part time production crew? Can I get my YouTube/creation outlet and getting paid platform to support me and several other part time creators? Like once a week, super high quality productions? What is something we can sell/make streaming revenue from?

I’ve been wearing a dancing dress leotard and think it could also be my secret to success. Or morning meditation. Or eating plant based, mostly vegan, little to no sugar, minimal chocolate.

I don’t feel like I’ve fully figured out what is wrong with my belly but here are a few things: I react a lot from stress in bad ways, I used to let my emotions over run and get the best of me, these contributed to my stomach issues, along with eating eggs, nuts, anything processed or with sugar, and sometimes meat. If I just eat whole foods, mostly fruits and veggies I seem to be ok. But it is so hard to do this, but it continues to get easier and easier the more I do it.

It is a great idea to hang out in a bathtub together with your friends. 🙂

Watch more documentaries instead of mindless, repetitive TV. Or no TV. 🙂

I learned so much about music!!! I’m so glad to have dived into this whole new region of learning and expression this year. I love dancing and singing and all the new knowledge I’ve gathered about recording and how simple a song can be, you don’t have to have 25 different instruments and all sorts of crazy stuff: you can just do it. 🙂 Make a song!!! Express, sing, enjoy!!

December 1st: kundalini awakening

UCSW at our house!

Sleeping stresses me out: trying to go to sleep, clenched jaw when I wake up. And I’m trying to restructure that, it seems to be working.

I still dream of leaving this all behind and running into the stars/beaches/health foods/ashram/somewhere warm, full of only healthy food, lovely people, and yogas, like there is another life/family out there waiting for me.

Traveled 2021

April 13th & 14th St. Louis

July 2nd Squire Boone Cavern

July 16th-20th Brianne Blu in Wisconsin 

July 28th Cincinnati

July 29th Collumbus

July 30th-August 2nd Bridgeport, NJ Ivy Lee & Greg Gardener & Prana Machine & Astrid Kallesen

August 3rd-6th Darien, Connecticut 

August 6th-8th Bay Harbor, Maine 

August 9th Catskill Mountains

August 10th Cooperstown, NY 

August 11th Lake Erie

August 12th big drive from cleveland and home

August 24th Paducah, KY

October 27th to Fairmont, WV

October 28th-31st Zion Grove, PA and Shenandoah, PA

October 31st to Port Matilda, PA 

November 1st Port Matilda, PA

November 2nd to Cleveland, OH 

November 3rd-5th Cleveland, OH

November 5-6 to Wilmington Ohio then homeward

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