2022 Missions Accomplished and Lessons Learned

Create what I want to consume.

“Work to publish” Jack Conte

Christopher Bill’s “Two Year” Rule. In two years, I will look back on what I’ve made and think of how lame it was and how much better I’m doing right now. Keep making for now and know that in two years it will be better: but in order to get to better, you have to make and put out now.

Living life as a musician.

Cooking is one of the most important things I can do for my health. It is valuable.

Pets make us better people.

I went from being a cat person to being a dog person.

I started a new tradition: a written self portrait of myself at this age.

Released a track on expanded distribution every other week!

Don’t let your passions become your day job.

My first foam pit!!!

“Don’t be too precious about your creations.” From Nataly Dawn, Jack Conte’s wife.

If you actually want to achieve a goal, schedule small, achievable pieces of it.

Doing a little bit every day is how to make yourself get better at/achieve something.

*Writing about* High Expectations Set You up for Disappointment Don’t be too attached to the outcome.

Always Stay a Student and Always Teach Learn new skills and hobbies.

Don’t judge your art by if it is selling.

If you need inspiration. Revisit mantras. Make a list of things that make you happy and inspired.

Habit Stacking

I don’t want to have to rely on my ability to perform in the future.

If you can’t figure out your goals, perhaps it is because you are already happy and satisfied with what you have.

Top lined for the first time and found my singing soul, being back on pitch, and working on rhythm.

Edited and published Swee.

Finished all parts of Exhale. 133 audio files, plus a Wim Hof off shoot.

Finished Starlight poetry book!

Finished #censored, my self-portrait book.

My first yoga retreat.

My first vibroacoustic bed sound healing experience.

I’m growing out of the self-help industry. I feel like I’ve helped and improved myself enough and life is good enough. Great even. I’m good. I can always improve, but I don’t feel like I need to chase the improvements. They will come as they are needed or made evident. 🙂

Drum circles.

Strong as Iron stop motion music video & published on Patreon A. Club homepage!

Exercise fights depression.

*Music is like art, if you use a few notes in a song or a limited color pallet; you won’t make brown.

Bought a ukulele.

Many goals accomplished by having a puppy. I want to be outside more and I want to be on my phone less easily accomplished by getting a puppy. Be more social, you are everyone’s favorite when you have a puppy. Watch less tv: you have less time to and your dog really doesn’t like that. Be more productive with the free time you do have. Being a dog mom makes me a better person.

You don’t have to perform if it doesn’t give you joy and a positive rush, you can just sit in your studio and write songs. It’s called being a singer/songwriter, not a performer.

I make things because I want them to exist in the world.

Reiki Master Training

I’m not sure how I ever made it before I discovered sleep masks.

Art is available for anyone to make and create. If you don’t know how, you can always learn.

Did many live streams where I performed with my ukulele and sang as I edited Swee and it became a habit I really enjoyed and want to keep repeating! Not the book editing. 😛 The singing and ukulele bit.

Bryan took over posting on my OnlyFans and I’m so grateful. I can actually devote my mind to creativity! Yes!! I’m coming back!

Put the pole up in our house and streaked doing pole every day since I got it installed! I finally found exercises I like and can commit to: they have an end goal/reason!

Dogs don’t have a daylight savings time setting.

I’m painting a house. 💜💙💚💛🧡❤️

Performed with the Evansville philharmonic orchestra and choir: Mozart requiem.

Nearly stopped eating meat, I’ve been becoming more and more vegetarian and my taper down is so gradual that I don’t even notice I’ve been meatless some days.

It was the most beautiful 45 degree night weather with fog. The fog seemed to hold the warmth in, it was beautiful and still.

A day of rest. It was great. I spent most of the day outside with the dogs and had a super peaceful moment just laying on my cot in the backyard with the dogs mostly sleeping.

Stayed by myself in my house overnight for the first time, Lady was with me.

Tried tent camping in a backyard. It was beautiful to see the stars in that much darkness. I opened my eyes in the exact direction a falling star was coming from and it was magical.

The answer to everything: get a dog.

*I love taking breaks then diving back in. It makes it so much more of a treat instead of a weekly duty.

You may have noticed some of these lessons overlap with blog articles I’ve published on Medium, that’s because I’ve been doing these lessons learned at the end of the year since 2013 and I’d like to elaborate and share some of the lessons I’ve learned with you in book format. What better way to write a book than to publish it all in tiny little blog article pieces then go back and edit it down into a cohesive book? I don’t know! But here’s to sharing what you’ve learned. 

This year more than ever it has been easier and faster to put together my images of 2022, mostly because I didn’t take nearly as many, but also because the ones I choose to include seem to have more meaning for me. There were only 11 images, but I’ve worked to close so many ongoing poetry, self-portrait, and meditation book projects that aren’t shown here. I mainly worked in audio files and experiences this year, which are sometimes a hard thing to visualize. 

And here’s a breakdown of my places traveled, because that’s another year end thing I do to.


February 1st: Flat Rock, NC

2nd: Brunswick, GA enroute to Florida

3rd: Driftwood beach & Jekyll Island and to Melbourne, FL

4th-9th Melbourne, FL

10th-13th Boca Raton. Zen Den Yoga School.

14th-21st Sebring, FL

22nd Sneads, FL

23rd FL to home via sleet!

27th Tri state wellness expo in Jasper, IN then Louisville, KY

Sick for 1.5 months

June 2nd-3rd The Rock, GA for Lady Belle

July 14th-16th Germantown, WI

August 8th-10th Nashville, TN songwriters retreat

Long Covid

September 22nd London, KY

Long Covid cont. (sick 33% of the time this year in total, yikes!)

December 7th home to Dothan, AL

8th-12th to Sebring, FL

12th to Ridgeland, SC

13th & 14th Asheville/Weaverville, NC

15th & 16th Knoxville/Oak Ridge, TN

17th Knoxville, TN to Hopkinsville, KY to home to Evansville, IN to Princeton, IN, and all back to home again. A 17 hour day with so much happening in between!

Updated OnlyFans List of Restricted Words: The Big No Nos

I messaged user support to ask if they had an updated list of restricted words and they said none was available at this time, but they did direct me to this list of restricted activities.

My account.

My referral code for other creators.

Here is a quote from their website about what is and isn’t allowed to be posted on OnlyFans…well, mostly just isn’t:

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P.S. I didn’t make the rules, I just wanted to share this in an easily searchable format.

P.P.S. I do have an account on OnlyFans, check me out there or if you are a creator, use my referral code when you sign up!

Project Announcements!

I feel like I’ve been flying at the speed of light since I recovered from Long Covid. I finished edited Swee, the novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo in 2020, then it sat in the cloud for two years slowly being edited, but this November I swung into action and finished it!!

Find Swee on Barnes and Nobels: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/swee-jenna-citrus/1142746429

And Amazon: https://amzn.to/3YBMZzb

I’m in project finishing mode!

I finally finished all parts of Exhale!!! There are 131 audio tracks in total, two parts aren’t yet released, but one comes out on the last day of the year! Stay tuned for it on all of my platforms such as Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube (Jenna Citrus-Topic), and all of the expanded distribution services.

I’ve also switched to posting weekly for music on all the platforms, so look out for many more songs, meditation, and collaborations coming in 2023.

I’ve also been writing on Medium at least weekly, I’m working on a new book about the things I’ve learned throughout the years which I always write about at the end of the year…which it is, which is another project I’m working on. I go through, read all of my journals for the year, and glean lessons from them.

I also finished my self-portrait book, #Censored, it is an 18+ book for some photos and covers the last 14 years of my self-portrait career.

Check it out on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3YBOptv

Are You an Artist? It Doesn’t Matter, You Should Still Make Art

I’ve been struggling with calling myself an artist for some time now. I used to be all about saying, “I’m an artist,” but feel more like a content creator suits me better now. Although it’s a funny turn of phrase to start into the music industry and hear singers/performers being called artists all over again. 

I make things. Yes, I went to school to learn how to make more things, but I knew how to make most of the things I made already, everyone does and if you don’t, you can learn.

Art is available for anyone to make and create.

I feel like I’ve stepped away from art, because I didn’t want to be an elitist about it. I want everyone to be able to create and if I labeled my art as art that people should buy so I can make a living from it, it seems I’m putting my art above the rest and I don’t want to do that. I do want to encourage everyone to make art and that everyone can make amazing art. You don’t have to go to grad school (or drop out) to make amazing, beautiful creations, everyone can. Everyone is a creator.

Back when I was calling myself an artist, I probably would have struggled to agree with the above comment, I grew up when iPhone were starting to popularize and threatening the photography industry in which I worked because, “everyone is a photographer” nowadays. Boy, is that even more true now with the generation of phones. Sometimes I’m working with my professional level digital camera and think: my iPhone would take a better better photo. So I use it! Use the tool that fits the medium. 

With AI making anyone who can string a few words together a digital image creator, art is ever more accessible than it was when I first started trying to get into art. 

Does anything distinguish the professionals from the hobbyist anymore? I think not. The internet has created a whirlwind for exposure and connections with a first time creator being able to post and share their work with the potential to be exposed to the masses. If you are reading this and are trying to call yourself an artist, you now probably know that your “competition” has opened up to nearly anyone who knows how to create and use an iPhone. But let’s not call it competition, let’s call it freedom of expression, because not everyone is trying to make it as an artist. But everyone should be free to expression themselves in whatever medium they choose. 

Art, music, dancing, expression is some of the cheapest therapy that’s generally easily accessible. If you don’t have money to buy an instrument, make music with your mouth, sing, clap your hands, find a bucket and a spoon to bang on, paint with mud, there are so many ways to express and share your creations and inspire others.

So go out and create or watch/read a tutorial and learn to create what you’ve always wanted to. You can do it.

I want to say a special thank you to The Colorwheel Kids (quote below), when I read Taylor’s post, this really cemented what had been going on in my brain for so long and I started to write this post. Everyone is a creator and we all have different abilities and need to share them. Everyone is an artist. 

Here’s one of my favorite creations, perhaps it can inspire you?

Wim Hof Style Guided Breath Meditations: Hypoxic Breathwork

Practice hypoxic breathwork with these Wim Hof styled tracks, there are a variety of meditations to help you hack into your autonomic nervous system and lead a healthier, happier life. From alleviating depression to helping manage autoimmune conditions, these meditations are the best for a lasting fix, especially if you’ve had problems with trying to meditate before.

Take a listen here on YouTube, Spotify, Amazon, Audible, or your other favorite streaming platform.

The first two tracks are created in collaboration with Innate Your.

These exercises are designed to help people who have some experience with the Wim Hof method and know the methodology to the breath cycles. There are no words in most of the tracks, just tones at 440 Hz to indicate when to breathe and when to hold. Please research the method and listen to other guided tracks before embarking on using these tracks. Wim Hof offers an app that has online resources to help guide you through the process. Chris Wurden and Chuck McGee III have several tracks available online that I enjoy breathing along with, and I’ve learned much from their sessions.

This wouldn’t be a brief introduction to Wim Hof, without mentioning cold showers. I’ve heard so many good things about them and keep putting them off because of the physical discomfort. I would expose myself to the cold and start sputtering and freaking out, but I started in again and again with the 15 second cold shower at the end of my hot bath and eventually found them tolerable. Now I even look forward to them, crave them, in fact. Yes, there is the gasping and the weird sensation of fighting being in the cold, but there’s something else I’m slowly tapping into. With the number of different sources that keep saying to take cold showers or have some sort of exposure to cold water, there must be something to it. So here I am, a doubter, doing it and stimulating my vagus nerve. Anna Lembke explains the phenomenon in her book Dopamine Nation by suggesting the pain of the cold shower helps even out our brain’s constant need for greater and greater pleasurable input. By experiencing the painful cold, we can help reset the body and induce a pleasurable state after removing the painful stimuli. “Pain is the price we pay for pleasure, so too is pleasure our reward for pain.” Give it a try, just a little bit of cold water at the end of your hot shower is the first step.

I’m not a certified practitioner of the Wim Hof method, however, I do have a 30 hour breathwork certification, am a Reiki Master, have practiced the method countless times, and have read The Wim Hof Method. I created these tracks to help with my individual practice and hope they help you with yours as well, but use them at your own risk. I am not liable for any harm that may come to you due to use or misuse of these tracks. Do not practice these breathing techniques while operating a vehicle or in or near water.

I suffer with autoimmune, digestive, and stress issues and find in some situations a few rounds of Wim Hof can greatly reduce my symptoms. I find it amazing that in a scientific research study, participants practicing Wim Hof were completely able to stave off any ill effects from E. coli.

There are several methods to the breath when it comes to holding in and out. Start by taking 15–40 deep breaths in and out in a two part fashion. Breathe into your diaphragm, take the second part of the breath into your chest, then release and let the breath go naturally.

The straightforward approach, which is what all the tracks in this album are programmed for, is to breathe out to a neutral position and hold the breath out of the body for as long is as easily possible, then breathe in fully and hold at the top for 10–15 seconds. If you are like me, pre-asthematic and with autoimmune issues, you may find holding the breath out of the body for two minutes to be impossible, and that’s ok. Start with aiming for 10 seconds and see if you can work up to 30. Come as you are, where you are. The first several tracks have a shorter hold period than is standard for the Wim Hof Method because I’m nearly never able to hold that long. So if you are starting out too, not feeling well, or have some underlying conditions, try the short holds. As you progress, you can try some of the longer holds or try extending on your own. Please note if you are pregnant, have high blood pressure, or have any other health concerns; ask your doctor before beginning a new practice such as this.

You can breathe in and out through your nose for relaxation. In through the nose, out through the mouth for balance. In and out through the mouth to cultivate energy. If you breathe through your mouth, you will be moving more oxygen around and be more likely to be dizzy. Be sure to practice these exercises while lying down or seated and in a safe area where if you lose consciousness or fall, you will not be injured.

After the external breath retention, breathe in through your nose so you can absorb the nitric oxide you’ve produced into your system, then hold at the top of your breath for 10–15 seconds. Relax around the breath as you hold it inside of your body. This shouldn’t be a holding of your breath, but rather a pausing of the next action of exhaling. Then release and start the next round of inhales.

Find your own pace and rhythm that works best for you. I have a Patreon page where you can submit a custom request for your own breath track. I offer these as guides for you, but find what works best for you and your body and listen to your needs.

Remember, health and healing are a process that must be attended to daily. Take a commitment to yourself right now to stick to doing a breathing meditation practice every day for at least 21 days in a row and rewarding yourself for practicing. By integrating positive habits into your routine, you are setting yourself up for success and your best possible life. Happy breathing.

Roe vs Wade Poem

Today I’m bleeding,
Mourning the loss,
Of a woman’s right over her own body.

I’ve been protesting with my consent.
No heterosexual sex until I see progress.
But how long will my male partner tolerate this?

I can’t take the risk,
That next month I won’t be bleeding,
And have no options of what to do about it.

I Want to Get an Abortion

Listen to the song

I want to get an Abortion Lyrics

Don’t let this law repeal come through
If you ever want me back on top of you
Roe vs Wade has been my right since birth
Don’t make me go back to coat hanger days 

I want to get an abortion
I want to get an abortion
Don’t tell me to think about it or maybe next time 
I want to get an abortion

Guess we’d better learn to lick it like a lesbian
Because there’s not a dick out there that’d I’d want to screw
Fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you too
Get your hands up off of my reproductive system

I want to get an abortion
I want to get an abortion
I want to get an abortion
I want to get an abortion

How to play this on the guitar, using power chords.
Pick the verses, strum the choruses.

Statement from the artist about this song: I’ve played it safe my whole life. I don’t like to disagree with people. I’d much rather find a compromise, than voice my own opinion. I’m not too terribly opinionated even, my stance on most things is: well if you can do it without causing too much negative impact for others go for it. I can usually see both sides to everything. I’m all about peace, love, rainbows, kitties, and everyone getting along. Compassion and trying to understand people is one of my core values. This punk song feels off brand with everything else I’ve produced as an artist. But I hit a brick wall of no, you are wrong, when I started seeing things about how the pro-lifers were trying to take our choice away. (I do find this issue to be a bit funny before all this because usually it’s pro and anti, but both sides are pro. You’ve got to take your humor where you can find it.) 

This feels like the first time I’m stepping out and showing my political values, because my rights as a human being are being threatened. I’ve had an abortion before. I was a 20 year old, in college, dating a guy that wasn’t great, and we weren’t ready for a child. I had gone back and forth for a while about keeping it or not, but I finally decided not to because I was 10 weeks in and exhausted. I remember coming home from school and taking a shower while lying down because I was too tired to stand any longer. If this was only 10 weeks, what would the rest of the pregnancy have looked like? I was afraid to find out. When I went to the abortion clinic, two hours away and out of state, they talked about how much safer and abortion was than going through with a full term pregnancy. A woman’s life is in danger when she is pregnant. More women in America die from childbirth than in most other countries. 

I feel passionately that an alive person’s life shouldn’t be put at risk, because of a potential person is living inside of them. Especially if there are any extenuating circumstances. Even if there are not any extenuating circumstances, if a woman doesn’t want to go through with a pregnancy then she should have the option to safely have an abortion. Because if a medically sanctioned abortion is no longer an option, some women will still continue to abort their pregnancies in an unsafe manner. I would. 

If Roe vs Wade is repealed I feel like many women will die in unwanted childbirth and from unsafe abortions. How many deaths is it going to take to reinstate this human right? 

If this is overturned, I’m seriously considering not sleeping with men anymore. I’m a bisexual woman and my body doesn’t get on well with any of the four kinds of birth control I’ve tried. The most obvious thing I can think of is to quit having sex with men if abortion is no longer a right for me. What about you?

Free Meditation Bundle Giveaway: PineTales Cushion, Jenna Citrus Art Journal, and 21 Day Meditation Challenge

Enter for your chance to win one of 5 prize bundles, each contains a PineTales Meditation Cushion, a Jenna Citrus Art Journal, and downloadable WAV files of 21 Day Meditation Challenge. 

There are many ways to enter including visiting websites and following, all for free! and you can earn more entries daily by listening to songs on Spotify and inviting your friends to win. 

Click here to enter!

Day 2: Guided Imagery: Forest Bathing

Listen to this guided meditation here: https://ffm.to/21daymeditation.owe

Today we will be going on an imagery adventure in our own minds. 

The mind can be a beautiful and amazing place to live if we cultivate it. That’s what we are going to do today: start sowing the seeds to create a beautiful outdoor scene in our own minds.

Ok, enough with the plant analogies, you know we are headed out doors. If your location and climate make for an easy and pleasant escape outdoors, head out there for this guided meditation and keep your eyes open while noticing the greenery that surrounds you. If you are in a cold climate like I am, keep your eyes closed and let your imagination do the work. 

Settle in, be comfortable, and find a position you will be able to maintain for the next several minutes. 

Take a few deep breaths to settle yourself. Breathe in. Breathe out. Inhale. Exhale and relax. Let your mind create an image of each detail. 

Envision yourself stepping outside into a calming, cool forest. Fog hangs low in the trees and you can feel the dampness of night lingering in the air as the first rays of sun push their way into the undergrowth. The leaves are crisp and crunch under your feet and you slowly walk. Fall has just begun and most of the leaves still remain on the branches. Sunlight filters through and lights them up like a warm rainbow. Bright, vivid, yellow, deep orange, and firework red leaves greet your vision as you stare up at the branches. You notice how close the trees are together in the forest, yet they each have enough space to receive their own sunlight and don’t crowd one another. 

You pick a spot in the canopy and trace the branch of the tree trunk, noticing the texture of the bark. As your eyes scan down to ground level you imagine the inverse of the tree below ground spreading out in the form of roots. You know that mycelium connects all the plants in the forest and see it as the connective tissue that forms together under this living network of decaying plant matter that you stand upon. You bend down and lift up a small piece of rotting log: mushrooms, the fruiting body of the mycelium. You wonder at how large their connective root system might be as the calming scent of moist plant matter greets your nose. You breathe in the scent again and find yourself drawn to become close to all the magic that wanders in nature. You lay down and your gaze is directed up to the canopy of thinning leaves. You get lost tracing patterns in the branches against the sky and your thoughts expand upwards towards the cosmos. As you think about the interconnectivity mirrored in the stars and the vastness between planets and worlds, a gentle breeze blows through and some of the leaves drift down toward you. A particularly large and beautiful leaf lands on you. You pick it up and examine its intense color and vividness. You can see the cells of the leaf with little dots in each of them. You look at the stem and see yet another mirroring of the tree’s branch system in the palm of your hand. You let the leaf go to rejoin the other leaves on their life cycle of decay, nourishment, growth, life, and death; and see a fern nearby. You gaze at the stomata on their leaves, much like the dots on the brightly colored leaf you just held, admiring the respiration of plants and following the intricacy of the fern leaves down to the forest floor where bright green moss meet your gaze. How wonderful is it that these two plants reproduce by spores so small that they can be carried on the wind. You wonder one more time about the mystical scent of the forest as you feel the moisture of the morning on your skin and close your eyes, relaxing into the forest and feeling at one with nature. 

When you are ready, come back to your body by slowly beginning to wiggle your extremities. Take an extra moment as you are coming up to feel gratitude for the transformational powers of your mind and the wildness that is nature. See if you can find yourself with a spare moment today to whisper thank you to a tree or a plant that is in your environment and think of a way you can bring more nature into your daily life. Thank yourself for taking this time to cultivate your meditation practice.